I don’t know what I’m afraid of. But I am.
Days are not always great.
It takes a lot to make something happen out here. And yet sometimes, results don’t see the light of the day.
Insecurity, fear, anxiety – I feel these.
But these are negligible. Negligible in return for what I am getting: Time and freedom.
Now what I do with them is in my control. That action I take is going to decide how I feel about myself today and how I am going to feel tomorrow.
In relation to the above let me take you to a comment I made in my previous post.
I said – “Given a chance now, probably, I wouldn’t have done it “. When my friend Ashwini read it, she was intrigued. Her curiosity led to a conversation with me. Sharing the same here.
—
(P.S: I’ve made few changes to the below chat as I see fit, however gist remains)
Ashwini: It was a nice post, but I have a question. You say “Given a chance now, probably, I wouldn’t have done it.” Why?
Anil: Courage, I think, is a function of time, emotions, environment and several other factors. So I guess I find myself less courageous now as compared to then 
Also note that I’ve used the word ‘probably’ 
Ashiwni: Hmm.. Do you somehow regret it?? Or it is just too less time to judge your decision?
I’m sorry to bother you with questions. But somehow you are one of the people who quit job to do something different, so I want to know the pros and cons of it
Anil: I’m enjoying my time and freedom. I don’t think I will ever regret the decision.
I wouldn’t promise it but I don’t see myself ever going back to a big salary job. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying its bad to one. It is just not my preference.
So if you ask – what does the regretting the decision depend on? I would say it depends on your priorities. Consider this: If my mother seeks a lot of medical attention and needs a lot of money for her expenses. Then I’d prefer having a regular source of income to support it. Hence I’d prefer a big salary job.
Ashwini: Those things apart, for your own sake you wont regret, right?
Anil: Me? I wouldn’t.
Before I could take the decision, it took me a lot of time to shape myself. I read books, blogs, experimented on myself, did meditation and yoga. Doing these shifted my paradigm. My belief system transformed to say – There is nothing more important in the world than being able to do things that you have always dreamed doing.
Some people say – Once you quit job, you must have something to do, else you’ll go mad. That is not entirely true. Because I don’t have a job, I don’t go to office and all my days are not productive, yet I find myself sane (at least that is what I think =))
I think, finally it boils down to this: What is your innermost belief? What is very important to you?
Ashwini: I think till the time you are happy, people who matter to you are happy, you can do whatever you want.. that contentedness is the most important. Of course without regrets.. money does matter, but when you are not happy, even money can’t buy happiness.
I’m trying really hard to strongly believe this and do whatever I want, but still not enough guts 
Anil: We all are different. I would say hang in there. Do stuff in your free time and on weekends. Surround yourself with like-minded people. If u want it that bad, that guts will come.
Conversation concludes.
—
More often than not, grass looks greener on the other side. It seems heavenly to quit your job. But I don’t care about that. All I care about is – If you can look yourself in the mirror and answer the question ‘Why do you want to do it?’; once you do that regretting the decision sort of questions become irrelevant.
–
I think Ashwini struck an important conversation with you and made us all a big favour. This is the conversation most of us wish to have with a guy like you.
Yup. Thanks to Ashwini who let me post this
Excellent post!
I think the most important qualities for a human being are the following.
1. General intellect to understand the world. Almost all people qualify with this one. You have that.
2. Ability to introspect and reflect. Most people are capable of this but don’t do. You do this constantly. That sets you apart and you get an A grade for this.
3. Be honest to yourself. Nothing prevents us being honest to ourselves but people rarely are. People tend to justify their wrong doings within themselves. you get an A grade for this.
4. Overcome greed. Almost all people fail miserably on this score. you get an A grade for this.
So, on the overall, you are doing brilliantly, it seems to me.
Of course, not everybody’s situation is the same. One cannot abrogate ones’s responsibilities and duties. If one has to take up a job for a steady income so he can support sending his brothers and sisters, he must do that.
The problem comes when a person marries, particularly, for a male. Can a man be married and be “wandering around?” What happens when kids arrive? I have thought about this. I have come to the conclusion that having a steady job is NOT A REQUIREMENT for a married man with kids. There is nothing at all wrong in having the wife have a steady job and the husband maintain the house, cook, take care of the kids, read and write, and do other non-regular things like tutoring, etc. If a woman does it, it is noble, and when a man does it, it is not?
I think most people want high paying jobs for the wrong reasons.
1. To “enjoy” life. No one reflects on what enjoyment really means.
2. To show off and to seek validation from the society. In reality, others don’t care about your success or failure. When you “succeed”, they might say they are happy, but they are actually jealous and are already contemplating how to beat you in the game. This is a viscous world.
There is another reason: to accumulate wealth as an insurance for the future. To some extent, this is a valid reason. How do you handle some calamity that might befallen on you or your loved ones which require finances? My feeling is this is also an attempt that people develop to justify their greed. This greed – the fear of the future – is the basic machine that is ingrained in our genes. How much money should you set part for handling the unknown in the future is vastly overstated in my opinion. This is where we have to learn from the animals. How many acorns does a squirrel store in its nest?
This is just my two cents.
Thanks for sharing your insight Soma.
“This is where we have to learn from the animals. How many acorns does a squirrel store in its nest?” – you nailed it there.
One of the prime things you need to quit the job is not just the guts but to handle the things that people say when you do it.. you will be treated as if you are the biggest retard on earth.. problem is that majority wont do it and we indians love to live like sheep.. follow the standard way of life.. do BE get into an IT job, make money, get married, buy a flat etc(oh and dont forget to update these on Facebook).. so when we find someone who is not following these pattern and wants to do something different we cant take it.. thats the way indians are.. (i am not saying living like this is wrong but atleast when a person wants to do something new he should not be discouraged).. here we are brought up in that way.. making property and money is the purpose of life.. thats why we are so behind in science and in general innovation.. we are good in servicing but tell me how many indian product companies are doing well
It is a human tendency to feel threatened when someone goes against their beliefs. And hence the behavior you mention in your comment. Though it is unfortunate, it is the way it is.
Thanks for sharing Dejavu!
Hello Anil Bhai ! I am one of many volunteers of Divyadeepa. After working for 4 months I quit my job and this Post gave me a “boost ” . Even though I have moved on , ppl keep asking why I quit a good job.This blog helped me to strengthen my stand . Thank you
Glad it helped you Ashutosh
Good luck and keep in touch man!