A rare event happened on my last day at office. About when, I was packing my stuff and starting to leave, I received a call from my senior colleague. He said he wanted to say something. We went inside a meeting room to talk.
‘Anil, I was writing an email to you. It mostly had things that I wanted to say to you. But then, I thought, it’s probably better for me to say it directly to you. Whatever I say will not be organized. It is just a bunch of random thoughts that I have.’
‘OK’ I replied.
‘Fine, let me start.
I have learnt many things from reading your blogs. I have come to know how deep thinker you are. I am inspired seeing how you take time to do social work…’
And then he went on to say several good things about me and few instances where he did not agree with me.
Now, I will never forget this event. For two reasons:
- It is very uncommon to say uncommon stuff to people. We simply keep it to ourselves, because we don’t want to look like an idiot. My colleague did something that I never seen anyone in my circle do. This was inspiring.
- It is rare to forget good about you on your last day at your last office (probably). It was unexpected positivity
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I learnt a lesson from him.
We all seek human connection. And that happens when we express our heart out.
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Remember?
- The teacher whom you liked very much, but did not care to say it to them, of how much the teacher meant to you.
- The friend who you value very much, but never said how much you loved him. (Though if you say this literally, there is a tiny possibility of you being (mis)understood to be gay)
- The beautiful girl in your college/office whom you liked very much but were scared to express.
Extroverts, introverts or ambiverts, all of us have something to say. Something to express. But expressing what is truly in one’s heart is difficult. Because we are scared of being judged, because it sounds ridiculous.
Here is the thing: Life is simple. I know you have many things to say to many lovely people around. Life will only get complicated by not saying what one wants to. Say it, for your heart will get lighter and you will be glad you did. Sure, it would be weird, uncommon, but worth it.
Nowadays, almost all capable people are terribly afraid of being ridiculous, and are miserable because of it.
~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
What is that one thing that you wanted to say but didn’t?
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Thanks Gadl for the photo
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Anil, I saw your decision only recently and i must say i have been in your position man!! Only difference is you quit NI and like NI i quit a company most of us Jcites would be drooling during placement time.. ya i did.. for nothing.. it shocked many.. but i had a definite goal.. a long cherished childhood dream.. I just switched myself off from rest of my friends and family when preparing to achieve it.. met some seriously inspiring people.. saw different parts of our country.. but i just fell short of achieving my dream
.. but i am ok.. its not that my life got derailed.. i have got something now which is good.. life keeps going.. have to move with it.. I have one advice though.. be fearless at any juncture..(because that moment will come where you will think did i make a wrong decision? then you have to be strong) and dont compare your life with the conventional fellows.. 2 things which cost me.. and i want to share one more thing.. Life is absolutely magical and mysterious.. Just look outside our planet earth theres nothing.. i mean nothing just rocks and gases and vast empty space.. and inside,complex biochemical machines which have evolved from lifeless chemicals and developed consciousness to interpret the universe.. i have no words to describe this mystery.. life has to be explored.. but people love to live like sheep dont they??
Dejavu,
From what you say, I clearly see you have lived and experienced.”be fearless at any juncture” – loved this.
Thanks for your kind words man. Keep in touch.
[...] Anil Bhandary recently wrote: Extroverts, introverts or ambiverts, all of us have something to say. Something to express. But expressing what is truly in one’s heart is difficult. Because we are scared of being judged, because it sounds ridiculous. [...]
I did. I did tell what I wanted to, but not to everyone. Don’t you think in some cases diplomacy comes into the picture and you can’t say what you wanted to.
Another important thing is, though it matters what you say, how you say it matters more. What say? Thinking of writing an article on this idea for NIBus
How you say what you say – is important. I agree.
Diplomacy is subjective because rudeness is. “I don’t like your work” can be perceived as “I don’t like you”. Objectively both are not same. It depends on the person who is on the receiving end and why are communicating with that entity (your parents, your counterpart in another country, your rival etc)
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