I’ve attended 3 longer duration Satsangs (retreats) of Sri M. The last day in all of them have been emotional for me. Today was the last day and an emotional one too.
Even though He speaks on the topics of Vedanta and Upanishads, he stresses again n again on the importance of heart over head. That for most of us, devotion is the key. And I sometimes feel he has graced me with it. How do I know this? It’s a lot easier now for me to cry! 😊
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Today morning we reached early for the Mantra chanting session and the Yoga practice. I made it a point to record the mantra session so that I can play / practice it again. I think I’m going to enjoy chanting these with my 6 yo.
Today the weather was too chill probably around 11-12 degree along with thick fog. It made the practice of yoga and meditation a little challenging with all the sweater & additional stuffing.
After a good bfast, we had our final session with Guru, in which the entire practice of Kriya was taught again. I’ve been practicing this regularly for over a year and realized some of the subtle mistakes I was doing. Had an opportunity to connect with a teacher who was recommended by Sri M & she clarified the changes in the technique. That assured and gave me confidence to practice this regularly.
We had decided to visit the Triveni Sangam (the actual point) – today as the crowds were less and manageable hence the authorities had opened it. My friends planned to visit it after lunch. After lunch I started to feel a little sick wi the cold. The thought of requiring to walk for more 8-10 km was daunting. I decided to skip.
After lunch, I took a nap for half an hour in the Satsang hall.
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While discussing about yoga Asanas and yoga teaching with a Yoga teacher, we started sharing about our spiritual journeys. We spoke about surrender and I asked her to tell more about surrender.
She said something on the lines of : “whenever good happens give the credit to Baba, and whenever bad happens then also blame Baba.” I was a little confused.
I told her : “Whenever I remember, if good happens, I give credit and if bad happens by me – then I take the blame”. Is this what you meant ?
Her response : “what is Good & Bad? Does God see the difference between Good & Bad? When mistake is done by me – then I tell “see Baba Aapne Karvaya hai. Ab aap hi samhaalo “. (Meaning – I blame Baba for having me do this mistake). Of course I do that when good happens too. Slowly you get to be closer to nothing.
A bomb this was. While it was obviously right in front of me I hadn’t seen it that way. A new liberating understanding of surrender. Retrospectively I think of this as a parting gift.
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Evening, there was Sir’s class in another part of Prayagraj and all my friends were present there in person. While the rest of us were here in the Satsang hall watching it streamed live on the topic of Upanishads.
At random times during that I was overwhelmed with tears – feeling grateful and feeling in protection and feeling undeserving yet lucky to be here under the protection. And also the pain of separation.
Maybea in a way it was mean to be that I parted away from friends during that duration so that I can let my tears go with lesser hesitation.Of course these aren’t my words. Or so I want to believe.
tomorrow morning we checkout from the retreat after breakfast.
Om Shree Gurubyo Namah!
Triveni Sangam View today evening. Clicked by one of the folks who visited them today
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